As you know, I recently participated in a writer’s workshop. There I made the commitment to begin writing intentionally, to learn more about how to write, to write in blood.
I did not learn this from reading books about it. There was not a classroom with a teacher at the front, lecturing us and diagramming sentences. I learned it by hanging out with a bunch of other aspiring authors. Just as people learn from their peers in recovery and in real life, I learned from the other writers in this group. I learned many things, and they still have more to teach me.
While I have never had a desire to write fiction, most of the people in this group lean more towards fiction. And they are keenly aware that fiction and reality are often woven into the same fabric. One of those writers I met recently shared an early version of a story she wrote. I find this story so moving, so compelling, that I feel the need to share it here as well. In my sharing, I hope to show you some of the things that move me in life, and in so doing, reveal a bit more about myself.
And so, without further delay, I shall turn this post over to my friend. Enjoy.
Finishing up a trip to Spain and Portugal, I found myself in the Monte Palace Gardens. What a magical place. As I stood on the bridge connecting to this little island where a glass case was sitting that entombed a statue of what looked like sleeping beauty, my passionate, romantic side saw the story being told here. Below is what I formulated which will be incorporated in a current writing collaboration project. Stay tuned for that book, it will be a fun read.
Through the last few months, we have talked about past lives, we’ve talked about no beginning, we have talked about bridges and trials. We have talked about fears, religion, dreams and disappointments. We have laughed and cried and have communicated deep parts of ourselves. We have a deep connection that for some people they never find.
God open up a path for us to rediscover each other because we have learned many things on our path here and it was time to share these lessons with one another. I think this is why we talk for hours. We are excited to share. It’s like coming home from seeing a great movie and we want to explain it to the one we love. It is like being cold and just wanting to be wrapped up in a fuzzy pink robe, sipping hot chocolate while rocking gently in a rocking chair. Your voice soothes my troubled heart and quietly puts me to sleep each night and each morning as I arise thinking it was nothing but a dream or a fleeting moment, I hear that same dear voice saying good morning and words of love and affection.
We came to the fork in the road and there we were. Hi, there baby. We thought there was something familiar but our past had us take the approach as hey don’t come too close because I’m not looking for any real close relationship; Just a friend to chat with sometimes and maybe do a few things with. Fortunately, our spirits spotted each other and they want more. They are excited to be reunited. Mine has been giving me descriptions of you for years. I figured I made up a fictitious character; a man to only write about in stories and fantasy. However, here you are with so much familiarity that you can be miles away and explain to me exactly what I am doing. I can be in my home and you in yours but yet when I close my eyes I know you are beside me. I have said at times that you read the script to my story because you knew the contents way too well. However, how could you have when that writing has been tucked away in a private place where I keep all those things I long for. Are you for real words I find myself asking. The answer pleasantly is yes.
I don’t know all of God’s intentions with you and I. I fail when I look too far in advance. I need to take each day, count my blessings and time will bring what is supposed to be next because no matter how much we plan , God takes us by the hand and opens up doors and leads us down paths. Some times I feel blindfolded by unfamiliarity but faith makes me hold on and peek through the blindfold and march forward hoping for the best.
Last night I described our first meeting. No I’m not talking about our first meeting weeks ago, I’m talking about many centuries ago when I met you in the garden. A long time ago, in a place far from earth, I was in a magical garden. There was a fountain in the middle and it was surrounded by roses. I was young and innocent. I was humming a favorite tune. A tune my soul had taught me and I’ve been signing it since I could first do so. The sun was glistening on my ivory skin and my soft pink lips had a smile that reflected the peace I felt inside. What I didn’t realize at the time is you being on the other side of the garden. You have been there many other days admiring me as I enjoyed my time in the gardens. These gardens were special to me as they were filled with peacocks, stunning statues and beautiful streams and water features.
I felt so connected to this garden for reasons I was unaware. It was as if I had been to the gardens prior to my life. The peacocks were as if angelic messengers speaking to me through their beauty, They looked for me each day and love for me to feed them. They were in the trees and in the water and by my side.
One particular day, I turned around and found you holding a white rose for me. I hesitated taking the rose as I was startled I was not alone. You spoke no words but smiled. A smile that felt like a rainbow that arrives after stormy weather. I took the rose and gave you a kiss on the cheek. We sat and talked for hours and found we had so many similar feelings. We agreed to meet each day in the garden and so we did. We built a friendship which turned in to love, respect and passion. One day without my advanced knowledge, I came back from the garden and found my things packed. I was swept away in a carriage and was taken away from what was familiar and most of all taken away from the man I loved. There was no explanation, no chance to speak to you my love. I wept.
You returned to the garden each day for some time until you were convinced I was not coming back. You had thought possibly I had forgotten or maybe my love was not sincere. Time went on and memories faded and our Lives evolved. We each married spouses and lived lives that felt incomplete.
One day as I was reborn, I found myself picking out flowers for a garden I felt inclined to plant. They were white roses. Odd I thought… white is so plain but I bought them anyway. As I planted them I pricked my finger on a thorn and though it pricked my finger, it also pricked something within my heart. A flash of peacocks strutted in my head and it was as if I heard a cry in the distance. As a tear warmly trickled down my cheek I thought, what was this I was feeling I did not know? As time went by I loved to gather white roses and bring them in the house where I arranged with a few peacock feathers I had purchased. There was something about this arrangement that made me smile. A smile as if I just had been panning for gold and found a huge nugget.
Time went on and many lives had past but each brought the smell of spicy, sweet scent of flowers and calls of peacocks. Each life brought a connection to water and the familiar tune I would hum in which no one had taught me. I never quite understood. What did this all mean? Why did I feel so misplaced; so empty?
One day as I thought my life was over yet once again. A life unhappy, incomplete I found myself in a writing garden where I started to see myself as I truly was. A woman born so many years ago. A woman who lived so many lives but yearned each life for something I could feel but yet could not describe. Something I felt as if I was searching for but yet did not know for what the search was for. I felt misunderstood, a weirdo and a misfit who wanted nothing more than to share. Share all I was and all I could be with a man who wanted to do the same thing.
One day in the writing garden I looked up and guess what? There you were holding a white rose in front of me and then I knew. All the pieces fit together. I finally knew my attraction to water, peacocks and yes the white rose. Then as we were hugging and you caressed me, sweeping my long locks away from my face, you hummed a familiar tune. The tune I have hummed all my life.
Welcome back my love. I hope this time we get more time together to share our dreams, our longings, our love, our quest for adventure and time to just sit and bask in rays of sunshine that our love radiates and the beauty the rainbow you cast on my once stormy life. You are my leading man; the man standing in my eternal garden holding the white rose.